Re awakening

Berkeley, Monday, March 2, 2020 3:35 AM

A not that productive day, neither necessarily has to be as is Sunday. Though, I completed a chapter for my class today, but I am behind on finishing a paper for review with my peers. Which, despite is the meeting is on Tuesday morning, I should have send it today by noon. The reason is that I requested that time three weeks ago to a classmate for reading it. She did that. And even I read consistently my peers work on Mondays night The day before the meetings.

I am in perhaps the busiest semesters I ever have been, which is good, because it also makes analyze the reasons that I have struggled some times in school, I would say since high school, though mainly since third year in college.

When I was 11 years old, I was selected the third best student by few points of difference in my elementary school. At that time high school started after six grade of elementary school. Now, I think that high school starts after ten grade of elementary school.

In my five year of elementary school, I lost few points. I recalled the main professor from my class kind of scolded at me, as seems because of these few decimals I came third instead of first, as seems that was the outcome he projected. There were three section. So in my section I was the first, but it means that then two students from other sections came for few points ahead of me.

I kept good consistent good scores, I think until I was 15 years old, when I in fourth year of high school or first year of current high school system, I did not performed well in a history or geography class. If it not were for two bonus points that athletes got, I could have get suspended to retake the exam. I played tennis during high school until that year actually. It is not I was a good player, but I made to the competitions. Perhaps was that year that I ended up second in a tournament which was my best result so far. I can tell more about tennis at some point.

That year I also was part of the mountain climbing and hiking club that we just created to the new rector. I was the vice-president that year, and then elected president until graduation.

I also learned to drink, socially, with friends, since that year, but particularly in the last year of high school and three first years of college. In the last year of high school, it was quite frequent. Perhaps a cultural problem, for which I am very glad I simply removed from my life.

I am saying all of these, because it seems to me that since my 11 years old, I, perhaps, have used my brain just at the moments that I needed. This short essay is not an autobiography. Thanks to God, I normally have been involved in plenty of activities during my life. For example, I was fire fighter for four years during college.

Yet, never as good a timely student as I was in elementary school. While my father and mother worked in full time jobs, once I recall from my mother saying, I do not know how or when you did the assignments. Particularly, I think those were in my very young ages. As later, I became a bit irresponsible with deadline, doing times in last minute or sometimes overcommitted.

Or there might be many other reasons.

One thing that seems clear, that even Matt, seems that have figured out, I do more effective and efficiently my job, or perhaps engage more, when I am involved in several activities.

I am writing this, because I am in awaking to understand also how I could work best, describe in detail mistakes and why not good assertations. I have to retake my qualifying exams in June, that here is not the motivation of the analysis, but it just an update. Whereas for me the reason for retaken them. the reasons for struggling with deadlines. The reasons to not fully understand some concepts or effectively take the lead with my work for allowing my committee and/or peers to advice, collaborate and contribute are wonders which have made think deeper on the roots of the problems.

I can describe in every single detail each day of my life, since I have memory, including facts that I have been told about when I was a toddler. I can even describe in absolute detail the times I have drank, even before losing conscience, and then followed right when I have recuperated.

I can analyze the times that my I have used my brain a maximum capacity, and when perhaps was not the case.

There will be plenty to say and so to learn, that I will need to write a book. I normally have written extensively after situations, break ups including my last one, but I have not written about failures of a exams, beyond the shallow surface in the prior days.

Clearly it won’t be a idealistic book or motivational, although the later could be the outcome if someone reads it, but I will gone rational and sequentially to each of the facts and details of life so far.

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