Berkeley, Thursday, January 25, 2024 11:22 PM
I’ve been for a long time in front of my computer struggling to work. There is noise either about news, or jet lack from prior conversation, or jet lack and tiredness for the time of the day.
Where are the sparks of knowledge which I probably had [fugazmente] around 2019?
A lot is coming back, and of course looking back to a time could be excuses as many other excuses I have, but why I am stuck here in front of the computer without working.
Why can I not finish my slides?
Why am I not typing the notes for the presentation?
Why do I rather easily request a book from the library, and read some articles, or check the news, or check the xfinity option we now have on campus, or check for few minutes my now re-opened instagram, from which I am glad I logged out few minutes after I logged in, but why was I watching those suggested videos in instagram.
Why did I watch a video or two at home? Why did I stayed up late last night?
COnversations with colleagues are great, powerful if they are honest, but why. Why I am not staying focused doing my work?
Was going for the tea a source of weakness last night?
It probably was not, yet I have not made substantial progress. How do I optimize the time that I am in front of the computer?
Did I screwed up everything but changing computers, while rushed by the department and just before a trip?
I of course I think I must follow honest advise. But how can I change things?
Often, one of the wonders is not talk too much. It is not terrible. As long as I stay truthful.
I really need to get my writing done.
I really appreciate the opportunity of being allow to teach. I also appreciate the opportunity that it is in something that I can lead by example. But I must do it in that way.
The spark of focusing and pushing more should come back.
Heart Pensees 