Nervous

Berkeley, Friday, March 3, 2023 4:40 PM

Still in here. Still I must push harder to overcome so many things.

And I will write in a word doc about those.

Meanwhile, I believe the last times I was nervous was when I had to make a presentation in front of my classmates and authorities, when I was in 2nd year of high school, which was called 5th year in my times. I do not what is exactly the current nomenclature, but I refer to it to the second last year.

I have made other presentations in my life and I will be fine. Of course, nervous is a factor, but usually I have overcome those. No shaking at all or voice breaking.

I think part of it is to be prepared to all the situations, being well emotionally.

But does having this site on, even add a little more of pressure because of everything that is… I rather cut sentences.

I have never been a kind of a social hawk, or whatever would be term, I have trouble saying social butterfly. While I’ve been somehow socially awkward, I’ve not necessarily isolated myself from social interactions. Though there have been a few invitations I did not go in first two years at Cal, and a few post COVID.

But getting nervous while talking socially seems to me that is a new post-COVID, social anxiety thing. Awkward with any standard could be one thing. But nervous. That might be a stress product.

It might be confidence. And should hide less and less and less. And I think I do that. I am quite often quite transparent.

Oh academia. It is beautiful. It is great. It is the brain working on action. But never away from the heart and spirit.

I guest we can feel when things are right.

In other topic, I got distracted in recent days reading briefly news about the incarceration of young gang members in El Salvador, and how numbers of daily deliquence has decreased. Do we live from numbers? I love math, and probably is one of my strongest qualities. But sending so many people to jail, or who knows what they are doing, is the right approach? Who has the rights to be on the streets in this world?

etc