A Bit on Self-Reflection and Punctuality

Berkeley, Sunday, February 1, 2026 1:44 PM

I am writing this after arriving thirty minutes late to a study session at the library.

I am doing this before praying the liturgy of the hours, answering at least one important email, before going to mass, and before writing. But after brunch.

I need to learn better the term of self infliction and whipping the self.

And while I woke up in harmony, motivation, despite the odd hours of sleep, which might have been triggered by caffeine and matcha from yesterday. It is great to have those writing and mutual support spaces for studying and writing.

Then, why to show up late. Why not to honor the space and time better with the focus.

That is a part on planning, which is getting better. Of course, while focusing and working, as I shared to a friend I met on Thursday, if one write at least a sentence and read a bit about the dissertation everyday it is key to keep things going. That is for the though times. But I think the issue is to distance oneself from the habits and daily progress.

Issues aside from a whatsapp type sent as a message by typing and pressing enter on this computer while typing the searching query for a Jorge Cham cartoon, I received in early-mid January, which I would need to clarify by an email, at some point after an exam.

Distractions can be tough. But what is really a distraction.

I think that while the brain is active and focused, and stay with things with clarity, focus, organized at home, attention to detail, focus on listening, etc. Those are relevant things. But of course there are pragmatical aspects.

Of course, the good senses and feelings might be influenced as well for the weather, activities, biking, reconnecting to the dissertation, understanding well what I read etc.

OK. I arrived 30 minutes late. Released a bit of a litany of brain clearing thoughts in here.

The sad part is that while I apologized with my friend for arriving late. I realized I was a despot. I anticipated the arrival time with an apology by text in advance. I took a phone call, by told a friend I cannot talk at that time. Something to schedule for later. But to my study buddy, I said it is a study session not a meeting, something that can be translated as I do not need to apologize for arriving late as you are already writing and I am about to start. One can become stupid and despot. While the real benefit of scheduling the study session is to have the pressure to leave home, hurry to show up on time, focus to write during that time. I mean the two key main things are the schedule and the company. One should not lose its sensitivity. And sometimes one problem might be to focus on the self, which is important, but a benefit of giving and collaborating is also to the self.

I just recall another intrusive thought or experience. What is an intrusive thought by the way? I am using more words that I heard more than I read or know in this context. But I recalled a time that for efficiency I denied at Sagehen two children of an instructor to play on an artificial river bed. It was on part to keep going or moving forward on schedule, but also, probably, a reaction to situation of communicating being right to at least three circumstances unheard to the instructor. Boy, I received similar non verbal communication from others, then.

On my list of items, well I completely forgot to send out a discourse, at least from the master. The graduation speech from the doctorate, although, it was fine and delivered, graduation has not happened yet.

Things to improve at home. Small steps forward has had a sort of interesting continuity. OK to allow flexibility as long as I do things. One of the best gifts I ever had was a cork board. I will get one or two to have a clear visual track of the things to do, schedule, move things around etc. Digital life has flaws. It is also hidden. And particularly, I do not want to become too dependent on checking a device to have my visual clarity of what is to do. I prefer to distribute the tools.

Another action, I have not resolved in a while, or taken action, while attempted once at least three years ago, is to optimize the space at my bedroom, getting rid of the queen bed. I would need better mobility, which in this case, the space I am lacking is on the edges of the north and south side of the bed. I can do that by reducing the width.

Plenty! To whom is this communicated, and why to have it on the public discourse? It is really a mind clearing, or a pin record to facts which would give me additional thoughts on why to write them. In general it is a release, and writing is usually therapeutic. I do not believe too much on being strategic, but on loving and finding the truth. Usually, that requires some cleaning and organizing to provide structure and allow that it happens.