Wrecked but not drowned

Berkeley, Saturday, April 8, 2023 11;59 PM

It is so interesting to start rebuilding on spaces I, though not completely, have left or disconnected with emotionally and event might be spiritually four years ago.

It is odd how I had wrecked myself on this 2023, and probably more during lent, during my alone time. Not all of course.

Our own interior damage shows to the surface quite easily. And that is great. That is the way how it always should be.

As long as I can combat darkness, steepness, reorganize my sleeping scheduling, I might be ok.

But there are even deeper questions about why getting all these books, why not keeping things as organized as I used to keep them, why why becoming nervous, afraid or overseen some confrontation, d giving up on schedule and on other things.

There are of course many factors, and while there are things which might not be fair to one, probably each one knows which fight is fighting. Some small talk and wars could be a distraction is one is fighting for other ones. But leading with daily memories of actions I do not like, could be quite tiring. But again is better to overseen those. That is not my real fight.

It was beautiful to see one of my friends today, who is doing great. Again I probably need to heal from recent own actions probably to be well out there, but it will come the time soon. The problem know is to fix the disruption of sleep, and get to fulfill my other commitments every day.