Ostia La Vida Chico

Berkeley, Thursday March 23, 2023 10:48 PM

It is hard to write in public, either dark, or anything thing I would be thinking, at times that I am not necessarily proud. However, it is an important to re-engage to have at least some accountability.

Still this is a kind of shy writing, hard to find, but much better than a picture, and hard to place frequent personal essays elsewhere.

What am I thinking?

I am thinking in how I have lost time, focus, standards, and structure. I am thinking on why I watched time by time things instead of doing more stuff, particularly in Fall 2020, a bit in other times, again in April/May 2022, and occasionally since then.

Why I have done a bad recent decision. Probably, because of the exploration of curiosity.

And I am thinking of honesty, intellectual transparency, coherence of actions. How I have become disengaged with some of the activities I am committed to, probably because they are in front of the computer.

It is true that social love is important. Probably things will start with much more acceptance, engagement, and commitment.

I am committed to do well. I am not sure how the situational factors, such as the place where I live are leading me to be kind of stuck, and even less connected than I was during my injury.

I believe that taking action of course helps. Social accountability helps more. Social transparency is good. How could I move forward?

Why some anxiety and desires around the time I recovered recently from COVID etc.?

Pressure can take a lot from one. But if one does not kind of resist and work with it, it can push one to bad situations.

Consistent progress and structure are key in life.