Getting rhythm back

Berkeley, Wednesday, April 20, 2022 2:18 PM

I am on campus right now. I spent part of my morning, until around 1:15 PM at home. I am glad I arrived to campus before the Faculty Club closed, so I was able to get lunch there.

I am writing in here to put my thoughts together, but I also feel it is kind of opening a scar again.

And while I often, kind of hate, all the premises before saying something, it probably feels awkward just to type in here all of these, with a colleague at the next desk and three more people in the same large room.

On the other hand, journaling is an excellent way to keep the mind busy. On also the other other hand, I wander if one is a pulp, oversharing, particularly a personal journal on the web, is conflicting.

I am sure things I have evolved plenty of thoughts explained in the past in here, as well as criteria and more.

I, lost a bit of focus now, but what I was going to say, is that I am not necessarily proud of this blog, but I am not necessarily against. I also realize that the things I said just before are kind of bullshit.

Indeed, it might not be necessary to have a site like this, because it is an unnecessary distraction.

It, sometimes, have unnecessary confessions, on which I am often careful to mainly blame myself.

But of course, one’s life is not isolated, so and I of course, wish that it never would be the case, so I often include experiences or other interactions.

I, time by time, was also typing my own direct assessment of thoughts, without that much of bullshit and indirect explanation. But I also, during the the last four weeks, lost track of my time, which was going very well on this semester, or fairly well, particularly in parts during my trip to Ecuador, and in some parts in the semester before that.

Focus? Time by time, I used to use this blog to blame myself, if I missed a deadline, if was falling behind my work, if my room and studio were unorganized, if my schedule was not going well, or if I allowed bad distractions to enter into my life.

Well, probably that is one of the reasons while I am typing in here. Yesterday, for some strange reason, after I came back from a short hike (due to someones and probably on some degree my own fault I sprayed my knee on March 26, when I was back to Berkeley. It, probably, would take two months to recover, so I reduced the length and degree of hikes, but I am glad I am redoing them. I also biked to campus today for the third time within that period. I will talk some other time more about how it happened. I, somehow, I am sure that it will be fine), back to the story after this long parenthesis, I went to buy to fruit, meat, and groceries in general to Monterrey Market, Andronicos, and CVs. When I cam back, I started to watch in probably a fast track mode, “marca 90”, which is a discussion panel youtube program about soccer. It broadcast every night at 10 PM, Ecuadorian time, 8 or 7 pm at Berkeley, depending the time of the year, because of daily time saving. Unfortunately, it is an entertainment program, with just OK content. In my opinion, it needs a bit of better content and serious discussions, but sometimes the heated discussion, fights between panel members, and entertainment is the essence of the program. Each person, has their position, and while sometimes they have good analysis, often those are interrupted by a sponsor. I also do not know how realistic are the pepas and bombas that sometimes they emit. But I have to say I like those characters, they produce some entertainment. I would add some clearer informative notes, so one is clearer about what are they communicating. I think so far what they do the best is on narrating old soccer stories, personal stories, and club managerial news. And probably, others, I would not expand further without specific topic on this now.

I also watched for some minutes, El Castigo Divino, by Luis Eduardo Vivanco, who was interviewing two layers: a “penalista” layer and a constitutional layer. The topic of the discussion, according to my understanding, and the reason of their presence was to emit criteria about the Habeas Corpus from Jorge Glas, which on embarrassing court situation, criteria which is my opinion regardless what many other would agree or few no, was set free from jail. I do not wish anyone to be on jail. So that can create a confusion and a further discussion about his case. However, there are laws, and he was already in. The way on how he was set free was embarrassing. I won’t talk more about it, in other post, but the case is a great deception about true, and how the justice could work. There was a huge deceit in that fraudulent exit. With that upset, of course many of us are left in confusion. But it is also a clear example of how hard we all need to work from the base and to try hard to no corrupt a system neither being corrupted by one. Of course, plenty of mistakes start by one.

In any case, I watched few parts of it, it is a two hours show, I also realized that it is better, probably, not fully secure about that, to watch those shows after they finish. Why? Because then one can skip parts and just get a sense of them, or listen to one part that one is interested on. But you can see how long one, and I, actually wasted or probably invested on “empalparme”, which means on getting on up to speed with plenty of things which were happening in Ecuador. That is a long topic, on which I would probably write here or elsewhere.

I interrupted watching Castigo Divino, because I had to go to CVS because today I will wash my ears. I was curious about that the Tang Center, the Health Center, on campus, offer such a thing. So I was asked to put some ear droppings four day in advance. I didn’t do that. I hope that the partial fulfillment of task would became a habit of mine. I did it only for one night. Yesterday. Would see how does it works. The appointment is this afternoon.

I still need to write a homework, which I partially completed last Thursday.

I have to write two homework for tomorrow. And really plenty of material for then. What a hell? Come on Chente work!

My stupidity continued last night, because after I came back, I listened to another part of the interview from above. For a strange reason, I decided to read or more likely explore and see an adult magazine. I checked one, as I recall, or probably because on what I was interested yesterday, poor magazine. I started with one called zoo. Then, I checked the porn production company AVN. I might regret to write those things in here of course. Then, I checked Adam & Eve film company. I was exploring what to watch. Of course, I understand this becomes dirty to read and write. Then, I went to website, which I thing started as a blog from that industry, which is a semia serious one. The name is fleshbot. They have shopping page, on which I think they at least have certified movies, which means, from actual actors or workers from that industry, which provides validation. About a year and a half ago, there were scandals with amateur sites and their content, reported by the excellent columnist Nicholas Kristof.

I ended up watching a scene from a movie started by Lisa Ann, on which she makes a porn character of Sarah Palin. At least it has some content. In any case, it was an interesting experience, for which I regret when I happens, but I least I have some criteria for searching, and probably evaluating afterwards, and amendment.

I also have invested plenty of time on putting myself up to sped with news, interviews, and crime in Ecuador. I was trying to keep an eye on the political landscape, soccer landscape, and probably nothing else, but all of these takes a while, particularly when I do it through videos, where the worrisome reason, is why am I doing that, and the answer could be related with avoiding tasks and living, though I would not think that the latter has some degree of true. In any case, there were yesterday a pretty presenter in marca 90, Kristy Alvarado.